Copyright Bre Cura

Bre (of The Queue) and I are so excited to start this series off with RFA. When we were brainstorming ideas, the overarching theme of each one was this: we need to find a way to get to know these bands more as people, and less as musicians. So we thought - a date. Let’s ask these bands out and flip the switch so the pressure’s on. Make them impress us. We want them to prove to us that, not only are they worth listening to, but they’re also worth knowing. This should be totally weird and open and funny and, by the end, we should feel personally connected. Because how many times do you want to read that their show was “really f#@king awesome”?

Thank you RFA in advance for spilling all your secrets to us, our “red flag count” was surprisingly low by the end.

RFA (loosely translated to "really fast automobiles”) has been a Philly staple for nearly nine years since their inception at a high school lunch table. Consisting of singer and guitarist Dan Cousart, bassist Brendan McHale, guitarist Christian Turzo-Egan, drummer Alec Powell, and keyboardist Will Loftus, RFA has steadily risen through the ranks of Philly’s DIY scene to become a household rock & roll name. RFA seems to stand for whatever you want it to, so keep that in mind as you read and form your own acronym by the end.

We kicked things off with a heavy-hitter, considering this was a date, of course. We had to know exactly what we were in for, and where each guy stood on the age-old question:

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Brendan McHale: “Yes… but it happens all the time. Love at first sight definitely exists, but I think it can fizzle just as quickly.”

Will Loftus: “I believe in love at first sight, but it doesn’t always have to do with loving people. You know? It’s not “inter-species” but sometimes - you see a nice waxed floor? A nice laminate countertop? And you think, “I love it. I love that. I just love the way the fluorescence lights up this room.” [note: we lost it already, right here. this exact moment]

Christian Turzo-Egan: “No, it’s true. You have to consider the wider possibilities of what love is. And, you know, sometimes you just look up and you see a star, you see a leaf or a plastic bag stuck in a tree and you think, ‘the colors are so rich.’ And you just think, ‘I’m in love with that bag, and I’d do anything to show that bag how I feel.’”

Have you ever heard the theory that all foods can be classified as a soup, salad, sandwich, or a singular ingredient? If you get it - can you prove the theory wrong?

This question has haunted us. When we first heard about this theory, we sat on it for like two hours before we realized that it’s absolutely fool-proof. It’s the perfect question to really pick someone’s brain with, and little did we know that this would incite some chaos among their answers…

Dan Cousart: “....I don’t agree with this and I don’t have a good reason why yet, but I don’t like it.”

Brendan: “You’ve got spaghetti...you’ve got pizza...how is pizza a sandwich? Dan said pizzas aren’t sandwiches. What about candy? Just one ingredient? But they’re made of chemicals. Soup? Soups are different than chowders, which are different than stews...”

Alec Powell: “How many individual things are we talking about here?”

Christian: “No. When you’re eating a soup, you’re not eating a salad. And when you’re eating a salad, you’re not eating a soup.”

Do you believe in conspiracy theories? Do you have any favorites?

Brendan: “No, Brendan doesn’t think they’re true.” [note the intentional third-person]

Alec: “Or just doesn’t care.”

Christian: “Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself. The Clintons are lizard people. What else? What else is a good one? JFK was killed by the mob.”

Will: “That’s true. Princess Diana was killed in the ambulance. What else? Aliens. A real conspiracy.”

Dan: “It’s all white logic, whether you believe it or not. A bunch of performers in the 60s and 70s had FBI files on them, like Bob Marley.”

If we were to rob you right now, would it be worth it?

What’s in your pockets? Is this a “movies and dinner at home” kind of date, or are you taking us out for a night?

Brendan: “What would you rob us of? Everything? I have like $20.”

Alec: “It definitely wouldn’t be worth it… but I’d make it an enjoyable experience for you. It would be quick and painless. And I’d crack some jokes, you know, it’d be fun. I would try to diffuse the anger and the situation as rapidly as possible so that I don’t get killed.”

Christian: “I mean, so we’d hang out, you know, and if we had time we’d talk about the Lord. We would just talk about the gospels and it would be great.”

Dan: “I have $30 in my checking account and the clothes that I’m wearing right now. I mean, if it’s after the show, everything’s gonna be sweaty, too. I just don’t really know if I’d want to even do that to you.”

Will: “I think first dates are borderline robbery. So I think I’d be okay with that. Well, you know, you gotta get all ready to go and then you’re robbing yourself of any sort of emotion or happiness. But you know, I’ll take my chances. You wanted to go on a date with six other people.” [heavy eye contact in our direction]

[consensus: we’re stayin’ in. maybe they’ll guest-list us for a show though?]

What album do you say is your favorite when you want to sound cool? What’s your actual guilty-pleasure favorite?

Okay - so we broke the rule a little with this one and asked about music. We knew this question would be an exposé on their ends. Asking musicians to admit that they’re lying about what albums are important to them just for the sake of “clout” is hilarious. They took the longest to get through this question, which can only mean that their answers are completely honest. How cool are they really? This cool:

Brendan: “That’s tough because technically you could switch the two answers and still be right… I think my actual favorite one, whether it’s thinking it’s cool or not, is just Abbey Road. But to look cool...London Calling. Bonus points if you have it on vinyl.” [he does not have it on vinyl]

Alec: “What to tell people who think I’m cool...I run in a couple different circles. I think…. Bob Marley’s African Herbsman might be my actual favorite album. But I’d tell people to think I’m cool that I like Kendrick Lamar’s DAMN. It’s something everybody likes.” [this holds up because the Decade Series lists mention DAMN at least 7 times]

Christian: “I guess I have a similar answer. You could say My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy or DAMN or To Pimp a Butterfly or something, you know? But who knows. Who knows what my favorite is - it changes every day. But if I wanted to sound cool I’d say the first Velvet Underground album, but my favorite is actually Loaded. I’m guilty. That’s their best album.” [note: this was spoken entirely in a British accent]

Dan: “Yeah, it’s tough. I feel like like honestly at the moment, my favorite now - I got really back into Sound and Color by Alabama Shakes, but it’s a group I feel like some people don’t know. Maybe I’d say something like - it’s circumstantial, so it depends on the audience. If I’m hanging out drinking with people or something I’d be like ‘I love Acid Rap - or maybe the new Harry Styles album.’ It’s a great one.”

Will: “To be cool - I’d say the new Vampire Weekend album. I actually really liked it. And they sell it at Target, so anybody knows it. That’s how you know it’s cool. My actual favorite album - and there are two: All Things Must Pass by George Harrison, and Country Willie: His Own Songs by Willie Nelson.”

Tell us a bad date story.

If any of these dates raise any red flags, it’s arguably, undeniably, 100% Christian’s. Read on.

Brendan: “I’ve been on dates where she just gave one-word answers and I was like, “OK. Trying to feed the conversation.” And then she just made you want to leave. And then we got the check and that was just it. Awkward. I asked if she wanted to go to the van - she didn’t want to do that. No - it’s not even funny. It was just bad.” [murderer, noted]

Christian: “I went on a date with a van once and it was really awkward. It wouldn’t start. I kept trying to leave and I was really hungry, I wanted to go get some food, but the car just wouldn’t start. Like, she wouldn’t start. And you know, it wasn’t even Donna. [Disclaimer: “Donna” is the band’s van. Cringe if you must] It was Suze. No, no, no. I was alone. Or maybe it was Svetlana. And she, you know, she just wasn’t even in the mood. She had a bad day at work or something. And like, you have to vibe. You know, because if you don’t vibe, what is there? So I closed the doors, locked her up, and that was it. You know, I walked away. I walked away from that relationship. I could never go back.”

Alec: “I’ve been on dates where I’ve had a great time, but I guess they didn’t have a particularly great time. This one time actually - I took a girl on a third date to my office Christmas party, and just got black-out drunk. I was clearly having a way better time than she was having and that was definitely a dealbreaker. [He said incredibly sarcastically] I don’t even know. I got so drunk and she was just standing next to me. It was so embarrassing, but I had a great time…”

Dan: “I feel like most bad dates I’ve been on are usually like Tinder dates and stuff like that. It’s not that you can’t meet cool people that way, it’s just that most people are so disinterested by the time you actually meet that it just burns out so quickly. It depends on what kind of person you are and what you’re looking for if you’re using apps. My roommate is the kind of guy who just doesn’t care and will just - he’s constantly shot down but he still has fun. So he’s got a pretty good mentality I guess.” [this was not scathing, really]

Will: “I matched with my son on Tinder once. I was in Egypt. We were searching for Nazi treasure, me and my friend. I was about to eat a date, and I threw it up in the air to catch it in my hand, and my friend caught it and said ‘bad. dates.’”

So.

Do we know when RFA’s next album is coming out? No. Because this was a date. But were we offered a ride in their van, and did we incite an argument about the various ways in which they may or may not be “cool” based on their guilty-pleasure music tastes? Yes. Would we date them again? 10/10, absolutely. We’re very appreciative that they took the time to sit down with us before their headlining gig at Ardmore Music Hall last week. You can catch (most of) them on January 31st at Underground Arts performing as Whaler Jr., the solo project of bass player Brendan McHale.

The Date Where RFA Asks To Show Us Their Van