justmadnice Hopes You Bloom In The Places Where You Feel Small
justmadnice, photo by the artist
By Emily Herbein
justmadnice is a rising transdisciplinary artist who has played through some of Philly’s most intrinsic corners of the DIY space. The release of their first EP, Small, leaves no room for argument that their music fully belongs here. They command the space they fill, I can tell you that with full certainty. These tracks elicit an immense amount of feeling upon a first listen despite also being — in a legitimate and tangible sense — small in their form and instrumentation. Crafted with just an acoustic guitar, a piano, and in some cases, gentle ethereal production, Small is one of the most refreshing listens that I’ve had in a while. It’s stripped back in a way that means every sound is intentional because it isn’t reliant on a heavy soundscape or synthetic production. justmadnice’s introduction is subtle in its power, and they want to emphasize the importance of never feeling small in who you are. Command the space you fill in whatever way is the most authentic to you.
The theme of blooming where you are planted and then unapologetically flourishing has been the driving force behind justmadnice’s work ethic. Getting past the insecurities that prevented them from being the truest version of themselves is a feeling that they hope everyone can move through because the incredible lightness that follows is what makes the hard work worth it. “What has always motivated me as an artist is the potential of a full moment — spaces in time where we are allowed to be as we are, complicatedly human and alive and feeling. For me, music and art are about holding our pain, our love, and our frustrations tenderly and giving them room to breathe.”
The EP sits at just four tracks, and they listen like cohesive chapters. The opener, “So did I,” is superimposed with found sounds and listens as if it’s being played for you live next to an open window or on a front porch in summer. It feels incredibly intimate, like it was born in that moment it was recorded, with languid layered vocals and gentle guitar lines. These tracks are impressive in the way that they don’t intend to impress anyone. This is a project that listens like it’s just meant for the artist alone as a means of healing. Some of these tracks, like “So did I,” are the product of a personal shift in trajectory. The title track has a much cleaner tone, and the opening lyrics, “would you believe me if I told you I’m afraid of everything, would you believe me if I said I’d rather be small” tug at your heart like a confessional. It’s very deliberately about anxiety and the fear of being perceived, and this song was born out of frustration in wishing things were easier. It’s a wholly universal feeling, one that the entire release is shaped around.
These songs are so beautiful in their simplicity, and it’s an incredible reminder that you don’t need to do the most in production in order to create something impactful. These songs are purposefully skeletal, intentionally laying everything bare for the listener. From the vocals to the instrumentation, this is what justmadnice has to offer, as is. It’s a powerful, powerful release method. If you listen to the tracks in order, as I feel you should, there’s an evident building of confidence as the tracks progress. They don’t shy away from “space or sparseness,” as they described the creative and confident shift. The final track, “Llams,” is arguably the album’s greatest leap. It’s the track “Small” played completely backwards, and it wraps up this release so nicely. It’s ethereal and haunting and I can’t think of any other way that I’d want this album to end after listening to it. Despite the fact that the track is reversed, the message isn’t. It emphasizes that personal growth is never linear, and even if you do move sometimes move backwards, that doesn’t make your story any less beautiful. This song because of that, for lack of a better word, is so beautiful.
Because the EP is based around internal growth, appreciating those small quiet moments to yourself, but also accepting that life is infinitely better when you share your full self with the people around you, I asked what justmadnice would say to their younger self following the release of these songs:
“I definitely think my younger self would be proud and probably say something like “oh, thank god” to see that I’m doing alright. And I’d tell my younger self that we’re fucking awesome, tell them they are real they are loved and that I don’t need to worry so much about what happens next. We’re gonna be okay.”
We’re gonna be okay. Take that away from this release. I feel it. Small is a very raw and real understanding of how it feels to know that you deserve to take up space, even if you don’t always believe it.